we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
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