do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
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