Got a toothbrush?
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
