ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I wish you could order shots online.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
