Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
