They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
its liver damage thursday
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