he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
