Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
she peed on how many people?
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
