the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
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As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
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His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
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