Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Semen is not good for contacts.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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