As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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