I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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