what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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