I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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