Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Randomize
