I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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