TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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