I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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