Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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