Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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