I think I died a long time ago.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
