I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
