I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
