If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
They took my balls.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
