So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
