no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I am spending my child support on dildos
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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