this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
i barfeds in our rink
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
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