All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
