Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Randomize
