He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Randomize
