When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
