I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
