I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.