just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
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My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
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Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.