Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night