I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Found your dick twin last night
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.