so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
