Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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