It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize