I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
