So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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