their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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