But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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