New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
