Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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