I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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