I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
