It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
