she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Randomize
