I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
