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I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
