I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
