Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
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