Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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