Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
