So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
