you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
