dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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