My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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