Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
