I think scott just propositioned me for sex
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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