Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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