Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
